I was only 17 — still in high school. I hadn’t planned on getting pregnant.
But there I was, facing a decision that would impact the rest of my life and determine the future of my unborn baby’s life, too. Still living with my mother and stepfather, we all came to CHS to talk about my options.
My mom wanted me to place my baby for adoption so I could graduate and go to college. Inside, I was torn. I wanted to keep my baby — I loved her.
But I loved her so much that I knew I had to do the right thing for her. My counselor provided me with information about adoption, and she even told me I could choose parents for her. Before I made any decisions, she encouraged me to really think about what was best for both of us, whether that meant placing my baby for adoption or raising her myself.
I was overwhelmed with emotions and being pressured by my mother. But my counselor was so calm, so understanding. She focused on me, on what I wanted, what I needed. We talked about what my life would be like as a teenage mother, how it would change as a pregnant teen. She helped me find answers I could use when people asked me rude, personal questions. I learned to trust her.
When we started talking about my future, I knew in my heart that the best thing for my daughter would be to place her with a loving adoptive family. I thought about the family I hoped would raise her. I didn&rsqou;t want my baby in foster care, so I asked if she could go home with her new family right from the hospital. After talking with parents who wanted my baby, I knew this was the right choice. And the family I chose was open to stay in touch, so, when the time is right, my daughter can know of my love and concern.
When Alaina was born, I knew I made the right choice. Still, I worried about my open relationship with her new family, and how I’d learn to deal with the sadness after they left with her. My counselor reassured me that she would help me any time I needed it and told me how brave I am for giving my daughter this beautiful gift.
Alaina’s adoptive family gave me a bracelet with a heart charm to symbolize their appreciation and respect for me. With my parents, I’d fixed a special basket for Alaina, with keepsakes, clothes and blankets. Alaina’s adoptive parents promised to keep it for her and assured me we’d reunite in the future.
Alaina’s parents have sent me letters and photos of Alaina. And I send them notes. They even attended my high school graduation. And I know they’ll let Alaina know just how much I love her.