Although she has never met or spoken to the daughter she placed for adoption more than 18 years ago, Kristin relishes the small things she learns from the letters and communication she receives about her child’s life. From pictures, Kristin knows her family trait of long and elegant fingers was passed on to her daughter, who, just like many people in Kristin’s family, is a talented piano player.
When she thinks back about her experience with placing her baby for adoption through CHS, some of Kristin’s memories are as vivid as if they happened yesterday.
Open adoption was fairly new when Kristin decided to go that route back in the late-1980s, and to this day, Kristin says every person’s situation is different, but she knows she made the right decision for her and her baby.
It all started when Kristin was 17. Following a positive result on a pregnancy test, Kristin’s mom took her to meet with an attorney to discuss her options, but the experience was not good. Kristin got the urge to run out and never look back.
Kristin’s mom had a friend who suggested the counseling services at CHS and from that night on, Kristin relied on the friends she made in the support groups to make her decision and find strength. She remembers the details that each member of the group shared, and how everyone in the room listened and truly wanted to help each other. Everyone had different lifestyles and situations, yet the thing they had in common was that they needed each other.
While continuing to rely on the support group and counseling, Kristin decided to look at profiles of potential adoptive parents. At first, she felt skeptical and protective of her baby – she knew her baby’s parents had to have a strong relationship and would need to be totally stable as a pair.
At four-and-a-half months pregnant, Kristin chose the future parents of her unborn baby. From that time on, she kept in contact with the parents and met face-to-face several times. The adoptive parents even came to the hospital when Kristin was in labor.
Kristin has communicated through letters to the adoptive parents of her baby at least once a year since 1989. Kristin receives pictures and updates on her daughter’s life from “her daughter’s Mother” – a term Kristin laughs at, but loves to use.
She knows that one day she may meet the baby she placed for adoption at 17, but until then, her heart is warm with the thoughts of the wonderful life she has. Kristin has left the decision up to her daughter if they will ever meet face-to-face.
She said, “I feel blessed that I have given a great life to a child, and I am so happy for the person she has become.”