Sara and Tobias hope their adopted son, James, will grow up to be just as courageous as his birthmother was when she made the tough decision to place him for adoption last year.
Sara and Tobias first met this young lady at a casual lunch. Seated across from the woman who would eventually choose them as the adoptive parents to raise her child, their stomachs were in knots.
“All I kept thinking was, am I going to say something wrong or order the wrong food so that we make a bad impression?” Sara recalls. “I told myself, ‘I can’t forget anything about her. If this is the real deal, I want to be able to tell my son what she ate and exactly what she was like.’”
Two CHS counselors eased the meeting along, guiding conversation to ensure everyone had the opportunity to discuss the things that were important for them to find out from one another.
The couple was happy to see they had much in common with the birthmother, an intelligent young woman determined to provide the best life possible for her child. She wanted to finish college but already had another child at home. She was looking for a couple with a stable relationship that could stress the importance of education to her child.
“After our initial meeting with her, I felt like we could be real friends,” Tobias says. “She seemed like my sister. I know she enjoyed getting to know us just as we did her; she even brought pictures of her family to show us.”
Together, Sara and Tobias worked with the birthmother and CHS to determine the level of openness appropriate for everyone involved.
The first time Sara mentioned adopting a baby to Tobias, he thought it was just a passing thought. But the more the couple researched the process, the more they realized it was an opportunity to become parents and pass on a legacy of character instilled in them from their parents.
It took a short nine months to find a match after the couple completed the paperwork and application process with CHS. In November 2007, the weekend James was born, the birthmother and her family were given the amazing opportunity to become close to Sara and Tobias as they stayed together in the hospital. Sara was in the delivery room and cut the umbilical cord. The two families shared some of the toughest emotions they ever would encounter – and they did it together.
“We have seen the struggles and joys associated with adoption,” Sara explains. “We are blessed to be able to love a son more than we ever could have imagined. He will always know that he was adopted, and we will ensure he is proud of his biological heritage and of the courageous decision of his birthmother.”
Sara and Tobias communicate with James’ birthmother through letters and pictures every few months. They’re laying the foundation for James to understand his background, and to take the relationship with his birthmother to whatever level he chooses once he’s old enough to decide what is right for him.
“Of all the things I have done in my life and all things I have yet to accomplish,” Tobias says, “James’ adoption is something I will forever hold dear.”